What is wrong with this paragraph?

This is the opening of Chapter 4 of Mark Twain's A Double Barrelled Detective Story:





It was a crisp and spicy morning in early October. The lilacs and laburnums, lit with the glory-fires of autumn, hung burning and flashing in the upper air, a fairy bridge provided by kind nature for the wingless wild things that have their home in the tree-tops and would visit together; the larch and the pomegranate flung their purple and yellow flames in brilliant broad splashes along the slanting sweep of woodland, the sensuous fragrance of innumerable deciduous flowers rose upon the swooning atmosphere, far in the empty sky a solitary oesophagus slept upon motionless wing; everywhere brooded stillness, serenity, and the peace of God.





Twain later recalled that few readers noticed anything wrong with it.

What is wrong with this paragraph?
In early october - unless in the Souther hemisphere - you would expect all the flowers to have bloomed %26amp; set seed. Hence, no fragrance, no flowers.
Reply:a bit too much theres no getting to the point
Reply:Too descriptive
Reply:An oesophagus is the pipe that connects the throat to the stomach - which your food passes through. Ive never know one of those to 'sleep upon solitary wing'.
Reply:I love it! sounds like Kurt Vonnegut!


As others mentioned and then beyond: the oesaphagus is imaginatively and improbably placed unflapping in an empty sky, flowers DON'T often or ever keep their leaves, October isn't pomegranate season in this universe, lilacs send sensuous fragrance into the swooning atmosphere in spring (but the wingless wild things really can't make it around the treetops without the laburnum/lilac fairy bridge), larches might fling purple and yellow flames if they were on fire (otherwise they pretty much act in an evergreen kind of manner except for being deciduous), and brooding stillness clashes irreversibly with serenity and God's peace.





This is a wholly Picasso/Dali kind of scene! nothin' wrong with that!!
Reply:I just see that after the first sentence he's got a run-on for the rest of the paragraph. And what's with the "solitary oesophagus"?
Reply:Flowers deciduous? I thought only trees were!
Reply:Well if I was marking this in the literacy book of one of the children in my class I would point out that this is one long sentence that needs a full stop somewhere to break it up!
Reply:no-body describes a morning as 'spicy'
Reply:Oesophagus?
Reply:the bit about the oesophagus! an oesophagus is a tube in the body that food travels down from the mouth to the stomach!
Reply:Pretentious?
Reply:okay, the sentence is a bit long winded, maybe there should be a full stop or two, but commas have been used. Have you noticed something wrong and are trying to test us, or did someone else say it was wrong and you don't know why?
Reply:i'm going to guess and say...


october isn't pomegranate season???
Reply:it doesnt tell what it is about
Reply:there are 2 sentences. the first is fine. the second has lots of descriptions and it has semicolons.





but i'd have to say run-on sentences and that it's overly descriptive.
Reply:I think it's the word 'oesophagus'. The oesophagus is the gullet - the food pipe from the mouth to the stomach. That clearly doesn't make sense. It should have been an osprey or a bird of some description.
Reply:it only has two periods.
Reply:There is a thing called "over description" as my teacher calls it. Keep a couple of the best ones but tone it down a little. People may think that you are trying to patronise them by acting all smart.
Reply:Yeah, it's completely mental. There are only like 2 full stops, throughout the whole of the paragragh, it uses words I have never even heard of (sounds like mumbo jumbo to me if I'm going to be honest) and basically doesn't make ANY sense. What is the author trying get across? That there are really nice flowers, the place is like totally cool and it's October. See, that took me like 1 sentence to say.
Reply:Bloody hell! There are like, no full stops ... the second sentence goes on for aaaages.





"The lilacs and laburnums, lit with the glory-fires of autumn, hung burning and flashing in the upper air, a fairy bridge provided by kind nature for the wingless wild things that have their home in the tree-tops and would visit together" that doesn't really make sense I don't think, like yeah the wingless wild things visit the fairy bridge but it's written in a weird way - I had to read it a few times to make sense of it








"the sensuous fragrance of innumerable deciduous flowers rose upon the swooning atmosphere, far in the empty sky a solitary oesophagus slept upon motionless wing;" before it says far, shouldn't there be a semi-colon or a new sentence?





I dunnoooo it's just very long and complicated. Needs more full stops I think.
Reply:That I read it.



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