Rate my song and tell what to fix?

oh yeah this isnt like a "serious" sng its ssomething for a project and its to the tune of this old man








Persephone


was all alone


till Hades spotted her and took her homE


to his underworld land


where was to stay for all eternity


Demeter wept


and no crops would grow


men wore dieing sooooo


Zeus talked his brother back to her mother forever


under the circumstance that she didnt eat the pomegranate


Persephone didnt know


so she ate some of the fruit


which meant she was Hades recruit


to be his Queen for 6 months of the year


and there was nothing Persephone could do


except cry and go BOOHOO


During this time


crops would not grow


wich is how Demeter would show


her sadness for the loss of her daughter


until the cruel six months were over


When Persephone returned home


Demeter was extremely happy


so crops would grow aplenty


and man could grow lots of crops and fill their belly


and this explains why we have seasons in the 21 century

Rate my song and tell what to fix?
Listen mister "zacefron" since you think that that song was stupid you are the stupid one don't be mad cause you don't have talent like her. Get over it and just answer the question.
Reply:It's all about the Greek gods and goddesses right? I think its cool unlike the loser before me :)
Reply:i thought that that was really clever! i give that a 10/10 =)



world history